It’s the week that bullets were dodged! Against all odds, LSU kept its Hat on straight. It’s the week that it became clear that Nebraska, K-State, and maybe one more losing team will dodge the “no bowl for you” bullet. ‘Bama and Clemson both barely missed out on Clemsoning. Finally, the Big 12 seemingly dodged a second year without a playoff. (Thanks Stanford!)
- LSU (Before The Announcement) – Here’s what we wrote as the Tigers were carrying their coach off the field: Now that the Les Miles Love Fest & Going Away Party is over, we once again turn to Joe Alleva and ask the immortal question: how are you planning to do better than a coach with a .780 batting average, as many SEC titles as any other LSU coach, and a natty? Hugh Freeze or Dan Mullen? Possibly. Maybe. Also, maybe not. The Hat may be batshit crazy at times, and he definitely needs to retool the offense for the 21st century, but unless you’ve got a secret deal with Jimbo Fisher, you are about to make a huge, massive mistake.
- LSU (After) – We weren’t wrong, Joe. You made a huge, massive mistake. After spending the last few weeks letting the inmates (in the form of your boosters) run wild, you let 24 hours of pressure from the fanbase overrule the decision you’d obviously already made? Congratulations on allowing the rest of the SEC (and the ACC and Big 12) to recruit against you with the, “Aw c’mon, you know this is his last year” pitch. That presser on ESPN was more interesting than a lot of the football we’ve seen this year. One last question: when does Cam Cameron get told to hit the bricks?
- The Bowls – We love the bowls. We can concoct a perfectly valid eight-team playoff system that leaves the bowls intact. That said, if we’re spending the last week of the season wondering which 5-7 teams will go bowling, there are officially way too many bowls.
- Florida – And so concludes week one of our two-week saga called, “Happy Days Haven’t Entirely Returned To The Swamp.” Think the Tide were licking their chops watching the Felony State game?
- Texas – Good night, sweet princes. Here’s hoping that Uncle Charlie stays, the running back challenge is as fixed as it seems to be, and somebody figures out the quarterback situation. Soon. (Unless, of course, you’re looking to give us more low-hanging fruit to write about in 2016, in which case, take your time, fellas.)
- Nebraska – Maxwell Smart had a saying: missed it by that much. That sums up their season pretty well, doncha think? Better, with the Huskers apparently headed to a bowl at 5-7, there’s hope for more Big Red entertainment.
- The ‘Cuse – We know what you’re thinking, Orangefolk. Coach O is engaging. Coach O is a great recruiter. Coach O has experience in the SEC and P12. Coach O sure did a great job as the interim guy at Southern Cal. (He didn’t – not really – but that’s another matter.) Before you do it, dial up Oxford and let them serve you a piping hot cup of what are you all thinkin’?
- Toledo – As dream seasons go, the Rockets sure turned theirs into a very good season. They also turned Matt Campbell into a Power 5 coach, but for his sake, we hope it won’t be at Iowa State. He deserves better.
- Penn State – 55-16 was the cherry on top of the 7-5 disappointment sundae.
- Auburn – If you’re happy with a “moral victory” and you know it, clap your hands.
- Rutgers – The coach and now the AD halfway out the door? It’s like UCF, but with lots of arrests, suspensions, and a B1G chaser (meaning it’s going to be a lot tougher to get back up again).
- Vanderbilt – “But we’ve got a great defense, so we’re halfway there!” says the team that just gave up 53 points to a talented, but hardly great, Tennessee offense.
- Oregon State – Winless in conference with only one win over an FBS school – and a disappointing one at that – isn’t exactly the kind of coaching debut you’d like to make. In fact, considering what he had to work with, we’d say Gary Andersen’s debut was more disappointing that David Beaty’s.
- Georgia State – The Panthers are currently enjoying the good kind of chaos. We’ve said it before: they’re the San Diego State of the Southeast. They’re a sleeping giant in a huge market with a great recruiting pool, and they play in an NFL stadium. Now, they’ve put a few wins together, and with one more, they’re going bowling! And all they have to do is beat Georgia Southern on the road. Dare to dream, guys, but save those dreams for next year.
- Michigan – Hey, it’s been one hell of a first season for The Khaki Messiah, but any time you finish with essentially the same record that almost got Les Miles tossed while getting absolutely destroyed by your rival, you’ve got a much longer way to go than everybody thought. We have not returned to the land of Bo & Woody – not yet, anyway.
- TCU/Baylor – Hmm…that’s one way to avoid another 61-58 lunacy, isn’t it? It might not have been as fun as last year, but it sure was hard to look away from it.
- Virginia – The Beamerball streak lives! The Hokies-Hoos streak lives. Mike London also lives, but he’ll be continuing life in another area code.
- Colorado – Coach Mac will be back? Well, he did have that one great year at San Jose State.
- Purdue – Coach Hazell will be back? Well, he did have that one great year at Kent State.
- The Winless – Not sure which qualifies for a better chaos ranking: losing your coach/AD over the course of a season that ends with a 44-3 impaling at the hands of your archrival, whose own coach appeared to be on the way out a few weeks ago (that’s UCF, y’all) or losing every game ugly with the knowledge that you weren’t going to lose your coach or AD in the offseason (Rock Chalk It’s Basketball Season).
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